The start of a new school year can be challenging if your child is easily overstimulated and highly sensitive to change, social demands, and academic pressures.
In today’s episode, I give tips for supporting your highly sensitive child as they begin a new school year.
Project Parenthood is hosted by Dr. Nanika Coor. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
Have a parenting question? Email Dr. Coor at parenthood@quickanddirtytips.com or leave a voicemail at 646-926-3243.
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The start of a new school year can be challenging if your child is easily overstimulated and highly sensitive to change, social demands, and academic pressures. When your kids are overwhelmed, it’s easy for you to become stressed as well. You might worry about your child’s ability to cope with the new school year and their overall well-being. Today, I’m talking about helping your highly sensitive child to adjust during the back-to-school season.
Welcome back to Project Parenthood! I'm your host, Dr. Nanika Coor—clinical psychologist and respectful parenting therapist. Each week, I’ll help you repair and deepen your parent-child connection, increase self-compassion and cooperation from your kids, and cultivate joy, peace, and resilience in your relationship with them.
The highly sensitive person, or HSP, has a nervous system that is easily overstimulated by both positive and negative stimuli, and as such are deeply impacted by their internal and/or external experience of the physical, emotional, and social environment.
HSP children can be more sensitive to change, so the start of a new school year can be a very overwhelming time for them. They may have to adjust to a new teacher, new classmates, a new school building, and new routines. Because they’re easily overwhelmed by sensory stimuli, like noise, light, and touch, the beginning of a new school year can be a very stimulating time with all of the new sights, sounds, and smells. Sensory overload can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and fatigue. HSP kids are also more sensitive to social cues and emotions than other children. This can make it hard for them to navigate the social world of school, which involves making friends, dealing with bullying, and participating in group activities. Academic pressure can also be more challenging for HSP kids. They may have a lot of anxiety and stress about getting good grades, doing well on tests, and pleasing their teachers.
If this sounds like your kiddo, stick around to hear about some ways to help your highly sensitive child cope during back-to-school time.
When it comes to supporting your highly sensitive child, it's all about embracing a nurturing mindset that sets the stage for their growth. You can be like their compass in an overwhelming world by leading with empathy and compassion. Show understanding when your child needs time to adjust to new situations or changes. Use your active listening skills and focus on showing acceptance in the face of your child’s concerns and big feelings. Whenever possible, give your child choices about things that will impact their life. This helps them feel like they have control over their own lives and that they're being respected.
Stay cool, calm, and collected when your child is overwhelmed—your own flexibility and composure are important in showing them how to navigate life's twists and turns, expected or unexpected. You’re also in a better position to be supportive and make in-the-moment skillful adjustments to your plans when you’re able to stay calm.
Remember to ditch the negative labels—your kids aren't "oversensitive" or “difficult”—actually, they're beautifully attuned to the world around them! And remind yourself repeatedly: high sensitivity is not a weakness—it's a superpower! Your HSP child is like an emotional superhero who feels deeply and connects profoundly. So make sure you focus on and celebrate their unique traits and strengths—such as empathy, intuition, and creativity.
It’s important to create a calm and predictable environment for your HSP kiddo. This means generally reducing noise and distractions—especially when your child is struggling. This could look like turning off any screens, closing the curtains or turning down any bright lights, and taking loud siblings to another room. Make sure your child is going to bed at the same time each night, turning off screens at least an hour before bed, and eating nutritious meals at regular intervals.
Give your child plenty of opportunities for downtime so that they can recharge and relax. They need this more than other kids do. This might be reading a book, spending the first post-school hour at home playing freely, or spending time in nature. And some kids just need to lie about a bit before they're ready for the next activity. In the same vein, make sure your child gets breaks during any sustained activity—especially if they seem to be getting overwhelmed. This could be a movement break like a 5-minute dance party, tossing a ball around outside, or listening to calming music.
Because your HSP child likely struggles with adjusting to change, try to give them plenty of warning before known changes occur. If they will be going to a new school, class, or will have a new teacher, see if you can go see the new classroom or meet the new teacher ahead of time. Do a practice run-through of drop-off and pick-up so that your child knows what to expect during these routines.
Give your highly sensitive child time to process information and their emotions. Don’t pressure them to answer right away or talk about a particular topic until they’re ready to do so. And finally, make sure your child has a special place in your home where they can go to relax and feel safe. It could be a quiet room, a cozy corner, or even a favorite stuffed animal or blanket.
Here are some ways to help your highly sensitive child cope with their over-sensitivities with a hefty dose of resilience:
It’s important to let your child know that it's perfectly fine to be more sensitive than others, and that you're there to help them through any challenges they face. Imagine that you’re the wind beneath their wings, encouraging them to soar. Your unconditional support and respect will help to foster an environment where they can flourish. It's like you’re planting seeds of confidence and adaptability—enjoy watching them grow!
In a nutshell, step into the shoes of a compassionate mentor—empathetic, calm, and always ready to guide with love. Your HSP child is on a sensational journey (pun intended), and your understanding, combined with your unwavering support and positivity, is the ultimate gift you can give them.
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That’s all for today’s episode of Project Parenthood—thanks for listening, and I hope you found this helpful! Be sure to join me live on Instagram @bkparents on Monday, September 18 at 12:45pm when you can “Ask Me Anything…”—about school drop off! You can get your questions answered in real-time!
If you have a question for me about parent-child relationships, respectful parenting tips and/or parental mental health that you’d like me to cover in a future episode, shoot me an email at parenthood@quickanddirtytips.com, leave a message at 646-926-3243 or leave a message on Instagram @bkparents. And you can learn about my private practice working with parents living in New York State at www.brooklynparenttherapy.com.
Catch you next week!
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