Project Parenthood

Summertime parenting hacks

Episode Summary

Whether it’s a trip to the grocery store or a 16-hour flight across the globe, a parent’s best defense is a good offense—in the form of preparation.

Episode Notes

Summertime means more quality time with your kids—and potentially more opportunities for kid shenanigans! In this episode, Dr. Nanika Coor shares parenting hacks for reducing family stress and setting yourself and the kids up for success.

Project Parenthood is hosted by Dr. Nanika Coor. A transcript is available at Simplecast.

Have a parenting question? Email Dr. Coor at parenthood@quickanddirtytips.com or leave a voicemail at 646-926-3243.

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Project Parenthood is a part of Quick and Dirty Tips.

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Episode Transcription

Summertime can really make a parent appreciate the heroes that teachers are! Although you might spend the last two months of the school year dreaming of summer downtime, it’s often not as lazy and relaxing as you thought it might be. Today, I’m offering up some summertime parenting hacks that can make summer run a little more smoothly and feel a bit more fun, safe, and less stressful!

Welcome back to Project Parenthood! I'm your host, Dr. Nanika Coor—clinical psychologist and respectful parenting therapist. Each week, I’ll help you repair and deepen your parent-child connection, increase self-compassion and cooperation from your kids, and cultivate joy, peace, and resilience in your relationship with them.

Tips for travel

Whether it’s a trip to the grocery store or a 16-hour flight across the globe, a parent’s best defense is a good offense—in the form of preparation. As much as possible, set yourself up for success before you leave your home with your kids. Here are some ideas:

• Save a collection of context-specific packing lists in a note on your smartphone—or a notebook, if you’re the analog sort. You might have must-have packing lists for short outings, beach trips, road trips, air travel, restaurant meals, etc. This makes it easier to get out the door knowing you have everything you need without having to scramble at the last minute.
• Bring protein-packed snacks that don't require utensils to save time and hassle when you're on the go. Think granola bars, pretzels, nuts, fruit, crackers, and cheese.
• Pack no-tech items like books to read, coloring and activity books, sketch pads and colored pencils or markers, and a deck of cards or a card game like “Uno” for school-age kids.
• Bring a travel pillow for each child to help them sleep comfortably on the go.
• Bring a change of clothes for each person, including the adults—you never know where a kid-mess will end up! I know a parent who keeps a change of clothes for each family member in the “emergency kit” in the car.
• Pack a first-aid kit—include bandages, antibiotic ointment, pain relievers, and other basic first-aid supplies.
• Bring a water bottle for each person—even if you’re going to someone’s home. This will help everyone stay hydrated, especially if you're traveling in hot weather. Always make sure all of the bottles are filled before moving on to the next destination.
• Bring a blanket or sheet to create a fort or play area. This can be a great way to entertain kids on long trips.
• Bring portable technology with pre-downloaded movies, shows, podcasts, or music. But try not to bring them out until you’ve exhausted your non-tech options. Think of them as a last—rather than first—resort.
• Use a travel buddy system if you're traveling with multiple children. Assign each child a buddy who is responsible for watching out for them. This can help to ensure that no child is ever left alone.
• Make sure your children are wearing the proper identification. This might be a name tag, a bracelet, or a necklace with their name and contact information. I know a parent who puts this information on the inside of the tongue of their child’s sneakers!
• Take photos of your children before you travel and each morning before you set out for activities. This will help you to identify them if they are ever lost or separated from you—when stressed, you might forget what they are wearing that day.
• When traveling outside of your hometown, leave a detailed itinerary with a trusted friend or family member. Include your travel plans, contact information, and a detailed description of your children.
• Stay informed about the latest travel advisories, which can help you to make informed decisions about your travel plans.
• Take a lot of breaks. If you're traveling by car, stop every few hours to stretch your legs and let the kids run around. If you're flying, get up and move around during your flight.
• Set realistic expectations. Accept that your kids won’t behave perfectly. There will be tantrums and meltdowns, but that's just part of traveling with kids—you’ll all survive.`
• Things won’t always go according to plan when traveling with kids, so be flexible and prepared for anything!

Water safety tips

It goes without saying that children should always be supervised around water—even if lifeguards are on duty and your child knows how to swim. If your child doesn’t know how swim, as soon as they express interest in learning to swim, teach them, or get them lessons. Make sure they’re equipped with the skills to protect themselves in water, like knowing how to float and how to call for help, to reduce the risk of drowning and water-related injuries.

Kids should wear lifejackets if they will be playing near water or doing any kind of water sport besides supervised swimming. Make sure your child’s adults know CPR, and that kids know not to play in or near drains. Designate an adult to be a “water watcher” every 15 minutes. This should be someone who can actively supervise and who can recognize signs of distress in water. This adult should be sober and should stay off of their mobile device for that 15-minute period.

Use 4-sided fencing with self-closing and -latching gates, pool covers, and safety alarms to prevent children and unauthorized adults from accessing the water unsupervised. Also be aware of other potential water hazards like ponds, streams, lakes, and even buckets.

Consent-based photo sharing

When you’re having exciting summer adventures, it can be tempting to post photos and videos of your kids having a blast on all of your social media platforms. As harmless as that seems, it can have lasting negative effects for your kids.

For example, when you post photos and videos of your kids online, they’re accessible to anyone with an internet connection, making them vulnerable to online predators, who can use the information to track them down and harm them. And even cyberbullying can be an issue. Other kids can post mean or hurtful comments on your child's photos or videos, or they can share them with others without your child's consent.

You’re also modeling how to use social media when you post pics of your kiddos. If you post a lot of personal information about yourself or your child, they might think it is okay for them to do the same thing. Following your example could lead to them sharing too much information about themselves online, which could put them at risk.

Additionally, it’s hard enough for kids to have a healthy self-image even when no one’s posting their image online. Your posts can make them feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, especially if it depicts them in embarrassing or private moments. Children who are constantly being posted online can develop a distorted view of themselves. They can start to believe that they’re only valuable if they’re getting likes and comments on their photos, leading to low self-esteem and other psychological problems.

It’s also a potential invasion of your child’s privacy. Once it’s posted online, it is very difficult to remove it completely. This means that your child may have to deal with the consequences of your posts for years to come. Anything you post about your child could potentially be seen by future employers, colleges, or other people who have the power to make important decisions about their life.

Consider these risks before posting your kid’s photo online—and get their consent before doing so. Your child has a right to privacy, and posting photos or videos of them online without their consent can be a violation of that right. If you do post, try to obscure identifying features of your child and their location, use strong privacy settings, and monitor comments that people leave on your posts.

Sleep-away camp for them means self-care opportunities for you

Ah, the sweet, sweet parenting break that sleepaway camp provides—a delightful time of no schedules to keep up with, no carpools, no homework battles, no constant snack-making or no screen-time monitoring or boredom-managing. And it’ll be over before you know it—so make the best of it! Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Take extra long showers.
• Sleep late. Very late.
• Go on a solo getaway or a trip with your partner.
• Eat at child-unfriendly restaurants.
• Dive into your passions, hobbies, and interests.
• Read a book in one day.
• Take more than one yoga or fitness class in one day.
• Make all of the foods you love and your child refuses.
• Reconnect with your partner by going on dates—no sitter to hire!
• Rekindle important friendships on coffee dates, hikes, and happy hours.
• Start a mindfulness, yoga, or meditation practice you can keep up with in the fall.

Summertime parenting can be a challenge, but it doesn't have to be. With a little planning and preparation, you can make the most of the season and enjoy some much-needed downtime. So whether you're traveling with your kids, spending time at the pool, or sending them off to sleepaway camp, remember to take care of yourself too. Embrace the summer downtime, take opportunities to recharge, relax and reconnect to yourself and others, and make the most of every summer day!

That’s all for today’s episode of Project Parenthood—thanks for listening, and I hope you found it helpful! Be sure to join me live on Instagram @bkparents on Monday, July 10 at 1 pm for a Brooklyn Parent Therapy “Ask Me Anything!” I’m excited to answer your questions in real-time!

If you have a question for me about parent-child relationships, respectful parenting tips and/or parental mental health like you’d like me to cover in a future episode, shoot me an email at parenthood@quickanddirtytips.com, leave a message at 646-926-3243 or leave a message on Instagram @bkparents. And you can learn about my private practice working with parents living in New York State at www.brooklynparenttherapy.com. Happy summer—and catch you next week!