In her farewell episode, host Chelsea discusses the vital importance of self-care for parents. She shares personal insights about managing commitments, letting go of the "superhero parent" mindset, and setting realistic boundaries. Drawing from her own experience of stepping down from hosting duties, Chelsea emphasizes how prioritizing self-care not only benefits parents but also models healthy behavior for their children.
In her farewell episode, host Chelsea discusses the vital importance of self-care for parents. She shares personal insights about managing commitments, letting go of the "superhero parent" mindset, and setting realistic boundaries. Drawing from her own experience of stepping down from hosting duties, Chelsea emphasizes how prioritizing self-care not only benefits parents but also models healthy behavior for their children.
Project Parenthood is hosted by Chelsea Dorcich. A transcript is available as Simplecast.
Have a parenting question? Email Chelsea at parenthood@quickanddirtytips.com or leave a voicemail at 646-926-3243.
Find Project Parenthood on Facebook and Twitter, or subscribe to the Quick and Dirty Tips newsletter for more tips and advice.
Project Parenthood is a part of Quick and Dirty Tips.
Links:
https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/
https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/subscribe
https://www.facebook.com/QDTProjectParenthood
https://twitter.com/qdtparenthood
Hi! Welcome back to Project Parenthood. I am your host, Chelsea Dorcich, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist
I am here to join you on your conscious parenting journey bringing more curiosity, openness, acceptance, kindness and non-judgment along the way.
My goal is for us to accept what is out of our control, commit to improving our parenting life, discover better outcomes for ourselves and our family.
As a parent we cannot say yes to everything and have to ease off the idea of being a superhero.
Today I want to highlight ways in which we as parents can take better care of ourselves so that we can be better parents to our children.
I will never forget the day a colleague asked me when my days off are? And I realized at that moment I didn’t have one. Between working and then coaching and participating in my children’s extra curricular activities, I didn’t have one day during the week where I had no obligations or commitments. The truth is we don’t get a day off from being a parent unless we schedule a day away.
In order for me to be a conscious mother and therapist I am stepping down as host of Project Parenthood
This has been a Fantastic experience and season in my life
There are some of us who have to be all things all the time and unfortunately that is not sustainable. I have been guilty of this numerous times in my life.
We need to ask ourselves - what can I manage right now with joy, with positivity, and with peace. It’s not always about what I want to do - sometimes things have to go to the back burner and wait another rotation or season to come to life.
A big piece of this is tolerating who we are in this moment or season or next few years, holding an attitude of self-acceptance and compassion and withholding judgment and criticism.
First, we have to be clear about our intention when we commit to things or add new things to our plate
Then, we ask ourselves: what can I do? What can I afford? What resources do I have? How much energy do I have?
If we can reflect on our intentions and honestly answer these questions, we will avoid setting ourselves for failure feeling miserable, guilty, or resentful
I will often ask myself after those initial questions - if I take this on, will I end up resenting the project or resenting something else because this project took up too much of my time or attention.
Self-care is about finding time to relax after the chores or to-do’s are complete or even in between completion so you can refuel. Is your life a run-on sentence right now? I know mine often is and we have to find a way to insert a period, a moment or activity to reset and relax.
Raising children is exhausting. We cannot say yes to everything - no matter how tempting or how good it all sounds. This is where easing off the guilt of being superhuman comes in.
The goal is to care enough about yourself to take care of yourself. Without saying a word our children can feel our energy → our mood can drop when we don’t take care of ourselves…do your kids walk on egg shells because you are in a bad mood or overwhelmed - your children then have to control themselves to take care of your needs or emotions
Often there is a mindset that we have to sacrifice ourselves and we carry guilt as parents if we put ourselves first or we aren’t doing what we should. We often build up resentment because we are attached to a big idea or unrealistic expectation.
When we as parents don’t prioritize ourselves, we teach our children to do the same. When we take care of ourselves, it sends a message to ourselves that we are worthy and this can be contagious for our children and our children are the beneficiaries of our self-care.
Self-care is a discipline - it’s simple and consistent
Our lives need to be simplified and decluttered
And how do we simplify our lives? We go back to our values . Is what I am taking on or choosing to say no to, in-line with my values and the human I want to be?
Are we saying yes to things because we are thinking of other parents and what they do or what they think? This trajectory is exhausting - so make sure your path is values-based and you're putting your air mask on before putting your kids’ on.
While this metaphor is obvious in some situations it can be very subtle in others - pause and reflect if there is a way for you to take two minutes to finish something for yourself before you attend to the needs of your child?
And find time to choose to do nothing - give yourself permission to keep things simple or schedule time to do nothing as a family
With the practice of self-care comes the responsibility of self-compassion. Please take the time to acknowledge your situation - that it is painful or overwhelming, next turn off any self-judgment or criticism. Make room for any painful or uncomfortable thoughts or feelings and then send yourself kindness. Sometimes it can be easier to imagine someone we love in an identical situation and imagine what we would say to them, now say it to yourself. Continue to talk kindly to yourself. Remember self-care has no limits - it can include healthy eating, exercising, making time for rest and relaxation, engaging in a hobby, sport or pleasurable activity, playing with the dog or cat, walking in nature, any restorative activity, etc.
That’s it for this week’s edition of Project Parenthood… I wish all of you listeners curiosity, acceptance, kindness, and openness on your conscious parenting journey
If you have any questions about this episode, about your parenting journey and/or topics you would like to hear more about please reach out to parenthood@quickanddirtytips.com or leave a message at 646-926-3243.
Project Parenthood is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast. Thanks to the team at Quick and Dirty Tips: Holly Hutchings, Davina Tomlin, Morgan Christianson and Brannan Goetschius. May you be happy, safe and protected, healthy and strong and live with ease.